Creature Discomforts

http://www.creaturediscomforts.org/

Finally a light hearted look at disability that might actually make people stop and think about the serious stuff..........

Cote Bistro

We both took a days holiday today so we could go and buy Mel a funky wheelchair but being new to this disabled lark we did not realise that we would have to book an appointment in advance. The next available slot is in 3 weeks!

We could therefore spend the day doing whatever we fancied , eating and drinking came to mind. We tried to get a table at Chez Bruce but mid-day seemed more brunch than lunch so we plumped for this new restaurant that had recently opened up in Wimbledon Village that had received some decent reviews. Cote Bistro is the brainchild of Andy Bassadone, formerly MD of Caprice Holdings (The Ivy, Le Caprice and J Sheekey), and Chris Benians, one of his chefs. In 1999 they cleverly created Strada, a chic, mid priced Italian restaurant specialising in wood-fired pizza and pasta. The company ended up with 26 outlets before being sold in 2004 to businessman Richard Caring for £56 million. They have now launched their first bistro, which upon visiting , is something poor old Cafe Rouge should have become when the local pub went all gastro.

The place was absolutely rammed and we were incredibly lucky to get the last table , however once seated it dawned on us how old the clientele was, still this was Wimbledon Village. There were good points and bad points , sadly our experience aired on bad, the old duffers next to us had a ball! Service was extremely slow and mildly confusing with the starters arriving before the wine , 20 minutes seemed a long time wait,we stuck it out but sadly during this time 2 couples vacated their tables food less. Had Mel been a little quicker with the old pins we may well have joined them.

The food to be honest was not bad. Mel's starter of Hock terrine with a yummy chutney was lovely, but my Rilettes was disappointing. It was a reverse of fortune for the mains, I had confit of duck on a bed of butter beans with some poncy jus that was to die for, being the pig I am , I also had a side of unnecessary frites. Mel had Moules that unfortunately seemed to come in a bowl of flavourless cream.

The restaurant was very nice and had the potential for an incredibly strong brand identity. They have done it with Italian food and trust me they will make it happen with French food. Within 24 months there will be a Cote Bistro on a high street near you!!!

Sadly, we would also like to point out that the Disabled access in this newly refurbished restaurant was appalling. Whilst it is appreciated the building is old it has been completely refurbished and no effort had been made to make the restaurant wheelchair accessible. No hand rails are provided on the high step to the restaurant from the pavement, and there was no sign of a ramp or a wheelchair call button. For those that are mobile enough to access via the one step into the building there are no ground floor toilets - these are in the basement accessed only via a steep stair case with a hand rail on only one side.

We are undecided as to whether we will go back.........

The clocks have chenged and winter is now officially here. Its cold, its wet and its really, really dark. On the plus this means it is now ok to stay in every night with red wine and a fire...........

Every cloud has a silver lining.......

After 13 weeks and six days we have finally got our little mitts on a Blue Badge. We spent this weekend cruising the streets of south London trying out the mutha and boy can I see why they are worth so much on the black market. The blurb informed us that it is " not a licence to park anywhere " but seeing as it is illegal to either clamp or tow a disabled persons car it got me wondering.........

Holiday

Oh my god,we have just booked a holiday for next year. July actually. Whats going on with the sudden organisation? We went round the world with only 4 weeks planning, our bills have to be on DD or we would never pay anyone, we can't plan a weekly shop......
Still lovely to have something to look forward to. Maybe we will yet categorise our CD collection alphabetically...

This is the second weekend in a row that I have actually been out - and actually feel I have enjoyed close to a normal weekend. Sure, I'm still tired but hopefully this is a turn of the tides. It is also a sign that 8 months down the line I am finally beginning to learn that things have to be done differently. Going into the office less conserves a lot of energy, I really am having to accept that I cant do it all. I'm also realising its not my fault I cant do things, I have been my own harshest critic and taken things very personally. Nobody else cares I have to get a cab from one end of Upper Street to the other because its too far for me to walk - my work mates pointed this out to me on Friday night when we did just that. In fact those of us that squeezed into the cab arrived at The Sampler a good 10 minutes before those that walked. Didn't miss out much there then did I!

Which brings me to The Sampler. An amazing wine shop that has 10 machines that are racked up with bottles that serve "sampling" measures. Its brilliant - you charge up a card with some cash and then off you go. Samples start at 30p and go right the way through the range - currently the most expensive sample is £15.17 for a taste of 1990 Chateau Ausone.The £20 on my card seemed to go a long way and I tried a huge range. The range of wines in the machines are apparently changed regularly. We then went to Le Mercury - still the cheapest place in N1 to eat. We ended up on the third floor - slightly challenging on the stairs for me. Still couldn't really complain seeing as it was me who booked it and forgot to mention that I would like a ground floor table!

Tonight we are going to the Cinema. Ratatouille! Love a good cartoon.

Been really quiet again on our blog...I would like to say there was a glam reason for this, been on holiday, been out every night at Champagne launch parties every night etc. etc....However that would be a big fat lie - we have been here all along but just too tired at the end of the day to contemplate much more than collapsing onto the sofa.......

We did go to Bestival - and had a great time. It was for me however also a very stark reality check. I could not walk on the hills nor in the crowds. I needed a wheelchair to get around and there was also a realisation that its always going to be that way, I have done a great job getting back on my feet but sometimes I am just to stubborn - I will try to walk to somewhere that I can be wheeled to in 5 minutes, walking takes me 40 and I arrive exhausted!!

This realisation has led to some changes this week as well. I have been going into work everyday now on the dreaded Northern Line. I enjoy the Independence this gives me and being in the office. It is however tiring, the accessibility of London's Victorian underground system for those with mobility issues is appalling. I arrive at my desk feeling like I have run a marathon, work all day and then run another to get home. Unsurprisingly I have begun to feel this week that I couldn't cope. But giving up is not really an option either. Finally yesterday I struck a deal to work from home 2 days a week. This should hopefully stop me being so tired all the time, and leave me a bit more time for the truly important things in life - like this blog!!!

6 months ago today .............

How time flies. 6 months ago to the day I was sat in the Mckissock ward on a Friday night watching Mel being wheeled into theatre. 2 hours later the consultant found me and had great pleasure in informing me that everything had gone sweet as. As the clock ticked away and minutes turned into hours I began to get a little worried when finally someone in scrubs found me. Patrick the Registrar began to tell me that Mel was having difficulty in regaining any movement beneath her neck and would be spending the weekend in intensive care. The yo yo of emotions is something I would like to remember and never have to live through again. My beautiful wife has slogged her guts out and has come a million miles. Back on her feet and heading up to work on the northern line every other day is an amazing achievement. Furthermore this coming weekend will see us head of to the lovely isle of wight with our dear friends Bert and Heidi to hit Bestival. Best thing is she has managed to blag us all wristbands for the viewing platform. And................ I hear a rumour that a certain set of robes maybe used as we re - new our vows in a stupid inflatable church. Happy days.

How to kill a chicken breast.

While I write Andrew is in the kitchen ruining some organic chicken breasts with a box of "Old El Paso". For some reason our latest Saino's shop seems to have contained rather a lot of things in Cardboard. Most of it yellow and red. I don't know what has happened, the Findus was a blast from the past but this? Curiosity? A wish to re-live student days? In the box there are some sad and flat looking wrap's (in plastic) some bright red powder (in plastic) and some Enchilada mix - in yep plastic. Much swearing and exclamation is coming from the kitchen, the latest being these look F*****g awful - I think he may have reached stage 3, "Spoon the meat mixture onto the middle of each warmed (microwaved) tortilla,place in the oven. Serve and enjoy."

I think I may have another glass of wine before dinner.

Findus Crispy Pancakes!

We spied these in Sainso's the other day, they bought back memories of childhood for both Andrew and I so we decided to buy a pack.

They are wrong on so many levels.....but god they tasted GREAT!!!

Oddbins RIP........

When the Castel group paid some £40 million for the Oddbins chain a lot of people felt they had paid over the odds for this " enfant terrible ". Subsequently, the chain began to lose money and some unwise french man decided the best thing to do was to either close them down or turn them into Nicolas. It is incredibly sad to see this pioneer of new world wines disappear from our high street. Some one told me yesterday that there would only be 4 left in London. 4! I run a Thresher in Southfields and was saddened to see my local Oddbins turn into a Nicolas over a three week period. Funny thing was, one of the shop fitters or members of staff decided to pour concrete down the drain which went off and caused this lovely new shop to flood . They are still closed to this day with a notice in their window blaming " environmental " issues! If some one from the Castel group had done their research they would have remembered when they opened a Nicolas in Southfields some 5 years ago that lasted only 6 months. That would be too easy. Raise a glass for all those scruffy Oddbins managers who now have to wear chinos and polo shirts. RIP Oddbins.

Le Champignon Sauvage

We decided to take a blog holiday for a week in a vain attempt to fool our readers that we were sunning ourselves in a villa in the hills and `avin it large at Pacha. However, in reality we have been in Cheltenham, Mitcham and Dorset. Last weekend saw us heading up to Cheltenham for my Auntie and Uncles 50'th wedding anniversary. We stayed at a fantastic place called Thirty Two which was a beautiful regency townhouse and a so called design statement, You know , one of those places where everything in the house seemed to be for sale but with no price tags. The location was fantastic and only just a short walk away from the lovely Montpellier district which was great for Mel to have a good old potter. As it had been a tough year for both of us we decided to go and treat ourselves and have lunch at " Le Champignon Sauvage " a 2 Michelin Star French restaurant. We rocked up 15 minutes late to what looked like the front of some old boozer with an old silent couple sat in the front window. This 45 seat restaurant was bursting at the seams this Friday lunch with just the 2 tables taken. Its was a shame as the lack of atmosphere was a real downer as the old couple said nothing to each other for two hours and we found ourselves whispering! Luckily for us a rather loud retired nouveau riche couple came in which gave us the opportunity to have a decent chat. It was a real shame the place lacked a spark as the food was absolutely amazing. What we both loved was David Everitt - Matthias the 2 star chef was guaranteed to be cooking your lunch as he has never missed a service since the place opened back in 1987 , beat that Mr Ramsay. Dexter beef, Squid and Gloucester old spot and split pea puree with a coconut foam were some of the highlights , yet a special mention must surely go to the toilets. I stepped through the small door and found myself in a curry house , the carpet was blue , the furniture from Argos and the wood chip walls full of erotic art, the bowl of tic tacs outside the loo must surely have pushed the Michelin inspectors to the limit and explain the award of two rather than three stars. Our bill for 3 courses , 1/2 bt of champagne, 1bt of white , 1/2 bt red and a bt of fizzy water came to £165. It was a shame the place was full of old duffers but an SW1 or W1 postcode would have doubled our bill. The food really was sublime.

Back behind the wheel

Today I have been for a driving assessment with The Queen Elizabeth Foundation, an organisation that assesses those with physical and cognitive disabilities for their ability to drive They are a approved by the DLA and are among the one of the only places to prove you are fit to drive for a fee without awaiting lengthy DLA assesment. They are a not for profit organisation. Unless, you have caused a crash and the person you have hit insurance decides you were not fit to drive, sends you there for a test and then charges your insurance company, LOOOOOOOAAADS!

Amazing place with amazing staff, static car unit to try, loads of adaptations etc, off road test site...it goes on......

The upshoot is I am good to drive and I need no adaptations other than to have an automatic car. I am amazed at the recovery this means my left hand has made in recent weeks.

By a very bizarre coincident Andrew has had a collection box on his counter at work for some 4-5 years for the Queen Elizabeth Foundation, one of his customers regularly fund raises for them. He had no idea who they were, or what they did, until they got me back in a car today. What comes around.............goes around.

Self sufficent?

Check out those spring onions! We grew them from scratch!! How excited was I to pull one. We have had potato salad for 2 nights in a row with our BBQ already and I am determined to eat them ALL week! ( BBQ? Carbon footprint? No, not us!)

Andrew has lost the pug dog challenge. The photo's never arrived and time defeated him......The cat's are victorious.

Pug Dog Challenge.....

Andrew loves Pug dogs. Had one as a kid, always wanted another. They have never really been my type of dog. I like big, what I perceive to be PROPER dogs. You know, like an Alsatian or something. It's never really been an issue though, we have both always been at work all day so a dog has been out of the question. Now however I work from home we can seriously think about a dog......What with my walking stick and crap balance my dreams of a BIIIG dog are clearly out the window. No way I could hang on to the lead......

We are in toy dog land now.

I wanted a miniature Daschund but have been shouted down - apparently they have spinal problems, and one SCI is enough in this household. So, the pug thing came back into focus. Still not convinced and after much badgering in a moment of madness I told Andrew last night that if he can get a pug puppy by Friday he can have one. I though this would be a tough call..Happy I went to bed...This morning I wake to the news he has located a pedigree litter through the power of the Internet - In Surrey - and had asked for photo's. ..... They must have all gone I think. He checks email, she's replied, no problem ,3 bitches , two dogs, photo's will follow.

Thing is I just know the minute those cute puppies photo's come I am going to want one.......

What am I to do?

Funky Monkey

Early start ...... early finish..........................

Doh !

I took our tenant out for lunch and got absolutely slaughtered!

Heroes

Oh, we have been quiet! Its just it just takes me so long to do anything these days. Really, it does. I am driving Andrew mad beacuse I am so slow. This really worrys me, I used to get mad, and I mean really mad, with Andrew because I always had to wait for him. How slow must I be?!!

So, basically with trying to work, do my exercises, get to physio, well to be fair just get out of bed and down the stairs in the morning I have NO time.........

Anyway, I'm very excited today. The week before I went into Hospital I watched the 1st episode of Heroes on Sci-Fi channel. I LOVED it and set Sky+ to record on series link for me - thinking I would be back in a few days to watch it..........Four months and a whole series later Andrew had no room on Sky+ for his beloved house programs. With him being such a great hubbie and bringing M&S food to my hospital room I tried not to be pissed off when he said he had deleted Heroes. ....................Imagine my joy when I find its coming to BBC2!

First episode tonight............Happy day's.

Can somebody make it stop please?

It's raining again. Not sure I can take it any more. Where is the off switch please?

When I was first laying in hospital completely unable to move I was calmer than you might have expected. Yes, I got upset when I needed help and I was frustrated. But, at that point I believed I would get better. Nobody told me I wouldn't. As the doubt crept in so did the fear. The first question I asked the physio, one I have heard others ask since, and one I expect they hear all the time was "will I walk again"? Well I can walk, just not well and not unaided. I hadn't really thought it through when I asked the question. Don't get me wrong, I am HUGELY grateful I can walk its just that I did not realise that it is possible to walk with so much still wrong and such limited function. I think that I assumed that if I would eventually be able to walk I would be, well, better. Maybe a small limp or something. I cannot walk without a stick, then I need a foot splint or an electric stimulator. I cant lift my left foot at the ankle properly. These basically stop me falling over my own foot. Then there are the problems I have with my core stability, my calf muscles, glute's, balance......etc...etc. If you lead me to the middle of a field and took away my splint and my stick and left me barefoot I would literally be rooted to the spot. Far from the "walking" I had a vision of in my head.

Yesterday I got very frustrated because my mum had to put a bench together for me - she bought it for me so I can sit just outside the backdoor with a cuppa. I cant help it. Lists of things that I will never be able to do again form in my head. Some things I was never going to do in the 1st place, climb Everest, skydive, run a marathon, but then I realised I will never run again. Not even a metre, not at all, not ever. Then I realise I will eventually forget what it feels like to run. I don't know if this will make it easier or worse. If I cant remember what it feels like, can I miss it?

The bench looks nice.

Pig Pig Scratchings........

Our favourite Colombian export.

Normality.

We tried to spend a normal Saturday doing what normal people would do and surprise surprise we had a really good normal time. We took Kevin to the vets for his annual check up and booster, swiftly followed by an hour in the gym for me and an hour in the pool for Mel. After a spot of lunch we could have taken the easy option and spent the rest of the day doing housework etc. but instead we caught the tram to our local National Trust park Morden Hall for some tea and cake. This saw Mel breaking all her previous bests/records for walking as we slowly ambled to the tea shop. It was a fantastic feeling to see her cover this kind of distance as it highlighted to us both that her wheelchair would eventually become a slice of history from this rather strange time in our lives. After recharging our batteries on Fentiman's ginger beer , cups of tea, a Solero and a Calypso we returned home.

We missed the chance of catching the tram and slowly worked our way home.

Today Mel covered well over a mile all under her own steam and boy did that make me a proud man. She calls it Bestival training, every spare moment will be spent pounding the dodgy streets of Mitcham just so she can reach the Wi`s tea tent on the 7th September.

My Friend Google.....

Google is my friend. Since my injury, despite being in an acute Neuro surgery ward and then a Neurorehabilitation centre I have not met one other person with a Spinal Cord Injury. I have met other young people coping with disabilities, but these were caused either by MS or in the case of the two guys I met - drugs, one took an unintentional overdose of pretty much everything he could lay his hands on in Phonm Phen, the other shot in the head whilst dealing them in South London. In fact I have only ever met one person in my life who had a Spinal cord injury, altough I did not realise at the time the nature of his disability. My mums next door neighbour was paralysed from the waist down during a life saving operation to remove a cancerous tumour from his spine. In another bizarre twist the surgeon who performed this surgery - Mr. Marsh - also performed the operation to remove the growth from my brain the year before. The lack of contact with other people with similar injuries and the frankly appalling lack of information from the NHS has led me to the Internet. ( The NHS have just today managed to send me a formal diagnosis - via the post!?? Incomplete Spinal cord injury - c6/7 - Asia D...) I'm pretty mad about this. What information I have found out through the NHS has been from Physio's and not the people charged with my recovery - the Neuro consultants. I know that doctors are wary of people self diagnosing through the Internet and I know many Doctors go out of there way to explain but if I have not goggled I would know very little about what has happened to me. I have a permanent, serious, life changing injury - is it that they just dont have the balls to tell me??? Almost all I know about Spasticity, clonus, nerve damage, incomplete or complete spinal injuries I have learnt from the Internet. Many of the articles I have read have filled me with fear, however once I have processed all the information I would rather be informed than in the dark wondering why I cant walk properly. I am now waiting for appointments with both my neuro surgeon and my neuro rehab consultant. I have plenty of questions for both.

Circus Cat

Whilst I was in hospital Andrew was a bit bored. He got a new hobby. Training our two old cats to do new tricks. Slowly I am getting to see all the clever things he has taught them. Both cats can now stand on their back legs to ask for food. Kev jumps up on his back legs to reach your hand when you click your fingers.........However this morning I got to see the jewel in the crown. Andrew and I don't usually get up at the same time but we have a new routine this week. This meant we were both fighting over the bathroom sink. Except we couldn't get near it. Our big black cat was sat on the edge of it, staring at Andrew and meowing. I was about to push him off when Andrew told me that actually Ben was thirsty and could I please turn on the cold tap for him. Sorry? The cat is talking to me and is thirsty?! It was then explained that this was his and Ben's "morning routine". Sure enough Andrew turned on the cold tap, Ben cocks his head and starts drinking deep from the cold tap!!! I'm impressed, for a while. Until I realise that I have been cleaning cat prints off the sink every day since I have been home...............

I would like to thank Heidi from Woodvale Diaries for this lovely pink badge. I'm going to nominate Silvana for the rocking girl blogger award cos she always brings me cakes - really good ones!

We have been busy saving the world from our living room. Watching "Live Earth". Lights on, telly on, wine chilling in the fridge, air freight from Colombia, takeaway whizzing round on a moped..........hey!!!!..its all about awareness isn't it?
Still great bands!

Beastie Boys - 7/10 ( bonus point for the suits).

Pussy cat dolls - 8/10 ( Andrew gave them 5 simply on outfits).

We think Souza (???) rocking Brazil to Eurotrash - 9/10.

Terence Stamp - 2/10. (eerr....? - nice he thought the spot light on him to be essential!).

Foo Fighters - 10/10.

Shakira - 2/10.

Madonna? Since when could she play a guitar? 7/10, although 10/10 for Gogo Bordello.

Don't forget to turn the lights out kids.......

Physio.....

Now that I am home the emphasis has to be on both getting stronger and maximizing the movement that I have got. From having Physio every day its now once a week at outpatients, although bizarrely with a different set of physio's from those who I have worked with since my injury. This is not really enough. I still have a lot of problems to try and solve. My movement and strength on my left side is very weak and my pro-preception and balance very bad on my right. (which I had always presumed to be my good side...!This is because the nerves cross over high in the spinal cord so the "feedback" from where my limbs are etc is lost on the opposite side to the damage to the cord. I still cannot feel heat or pain on my right side for example...) The optimum recovery period for function after a spinal cord injury is 3 -9 months after injury, so with this in mind we hired a private Neurological Physioptherpist. A walking specialist that I have worked with through the NHS for the last 10 weeks. My god, I must have been more of a drain on the tax payer than I ever imagined! Can they be paid this much by the NHS? Physios are expensive privately, but Neuro physio's? !! Something else.......Want a comfortable old age? Get your kids in training now!

Super star tradesman ?

It was my first day off in ages today. The day was totally ruined by an 11- 1 window time turning into a 4-6 window time. We have a very cute little studio flat in a grade 11 listed building in the middle of a council estate , very close to a couple of fatal stabbings that has been rented out since January. The oven had apparently never been working and seeing as the tenant was leaving at the end of August she fancied having a dinner party. I could not understand why she needed it working when she had 4 hobs and a grill in fine order and that for the last 6 months it had never been a problem, still I guess she paid the mortgage. I spent a really frustrating 8 hours in that flat waiting for someone to come and fix it when eventually the buzzer went. I was all set to let rip when I oppened the door and a really chirpy, slightly portly young man appeared. 10 minutes in and £35 lighter we had got to the bottom of the problem ...... a new element was required. He would order it , I would pay for it and he would come back and fit it for free! He was a very nice man.

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Youve got mail.....

I have done my first days work for exactly 4 months today! Well, kind of. Logged on from the living room and opened my Inbox. Put the kettle on, looked at the screen, made the tea, fed the cats, looked at the screen.......put the kettle on.... my god, they just kept on coming in. I know this was four months worth of emails and a good proportion of the last few weeks was probably spam.... but bloody hell!!!! I had forgotten that morning fear of opening outlook and watching the email roll in. The number of new unread mails rudely highlighted to you, ruining your day before you have started, yesterdays tally of read ( but let's face it unanswered) mail's still fresh on your mind.

Once the server stopped throwing the mail at me I had a dilemma. Hope my colleagues had dealt with urgent matters? Go through line by line?? Send a bulk email to all asking them to contact me if their enquiry had not been dealt with? I made another cup of tea. Then I hit on the brilliant idea of a new folder called "sick". I simply highlighted my Inbox in its entirety and moved it across. Wonderful, a clear Inbox. All those nights I worked late "clearing my Inbox".... what a waste of time.

Inbox dealt with, I put the kettle on and decided to knock off for the day.

The old ones are the best....

It's my birthday today, in times past this would have meant a wild night away in a hotel accompanied by way too much food and drink....This year? Well, we walked round to the corner shop (7 minutes, 10 seconds) and got a bottle of wine and a bag of crisps each. On the walk back we spotted a big kite being flown on the grassy patch next to our house and decided to check it out. Never been in the "park" in the three and a half years we have lived here. Better than expected. We walked to the bench and sat for me to have a rest, just in time to see the kite wrapped around the nearest tree...... We opened the crisps (not the wine!!!). Andrew had Walkers new offering - Chilli and Lemon flavour. Wrong, wrong, wrong......just not working at all. Spicy, lemony, crispy, yukky. Me? Lovely bag of Smiths salt "n" shake. Did I share? No, It's my birthday!

The paper run

On your marks get set .... go. 8 mins 23 sec to the local Londis for a couple of papers and a pint of milk. Return trip 7 mins 44 sec.

Will keep you posted on further runs.

Cheesy leeks......

Yesterday was my first out patient physio appointment and our first trip back to St. Georges hospital since they wheeled me out on a stretcher to The Wolfson. Whilst wandering along on my stick to the Physio department we bumped into my surgeons registra. A rather portly Canadian chap, who I kid you not practically wet himself on the spot to see me walking. He practically RAN into the hospital no doubt only to burst straight into theatre and proclaimed, its OK! She can walk!! Our careers are saved!!...

What with it being Wimbledon this week the weather is awful. Wet and really unseasonal cold....We decided to cheer our selves up with some good old carb's and comfort food. Roll up Cheesy Leeks...! Basically this is fried leeks, fried bacon, some spring onions and a really cheesy sauce in a dish - baked in the oven. Yummy and comforting served over jacket potatoes. Only about 4,000 calories a serve. We could barely move off the sofa for the rest of the day. Shouldn't be food for June though........

Finally its gone dark...

The very first night we spent in our house both Andrew and I woke (very early) in the morning and commented that as well as getting rid of the hideous lilac on the walls we needed some blinds. That was on a dark January morning three and a half years ago. A lot has happened in that time but still no blinds graced our windows.

Four months ago I finally ordered some, and yesterday Richard came round and did a wonderful job of putting them up. I was previously in charge of DIY, Andrew has not a clue. He's going to have to learn..!!!

Last night we slept in a properly dark room and I actually slept in for the first time EVER in this house. Can't believe it took us so very, very long.

This is the way it is

It might appear that life should have become easier for us upon Mel`s release from hospital, however this is not proving to be the case. We had a lovely few days in Rye, removed from reality. However the world of personal chefs and tea in bed is not where anyone other than a lottery winner or a Russian oil tycoon can stay for long. Still, not even an oil tycoon can buy health and mobility. Mel is going to have to regain what function she can through hard work and determination. Even with that her recovery will never be complete, she will be permanently disabled, it will always be making the most of what she has. We all take for granted we can move, walk, swim, jump, stand on tip toes.... The realisation that her fight has only just begun can sometimes seem overwhelming. Coming to terms with this will be a long and painful process.

We have just had a wonderful (and slightly drunken!) evening with the hosts of The Wood Vale Diaries, who have helped us believe that we can keep on moving forward and shown us that friendship and love will truly conquer all. Peace, Love, Respect and a massive thank you to WOOD VALE DIARIES!!!

Bye, Bye Wolfson

We have been quiet on the posting front....I was finally released from the care of the NHS Wednesday lunch time. We have wizzed down to Rye to celebrate and are currently holed up in a suite at The George in Rye. It's amazing to only have to share the room with Andrew, be able to choose the channel on the tv and not hear the drone of electric wheelchairs. Which brings me on to, well, wheelchairs. Clearly I have now used up my portion of NHS funding. The wheelchair they have dispatched me with (top picture) can only be described as a right old bone cruncher. I am also, frankly, embarassed to be seen in it. Whilst out and about in Rye today we spotted four old dears in the same model. I dont mean to seem ungrateful, the NHS have been very good to me but I have an image to protect here! I'm very lucky that I can walk, however the distances I can manage will be short and slow, therfore a decent wheelchair is as important as a good pair of shoes. And its an excuse to shop........ I have spent some time surfing this afternoon and have my eye on a "Street classic". Check it out!!!

Food I am dreaming of........

I am lucky, although I am "hospitalised" during the week (although only till Wednesday!!!) I can go home at the weekends. Other's are here full time. The food is terrible. Like, really, really terrible. I have no idea how they expect people to get well on it. Earlier today a few of us sat around talking about foods we miss whilst here and what we would eat RIGHT NOW if we could. The following were loving talked about...

Nutella on toast.
Southern coated "curly fries"
Pink wafer biscuits dunked in hot chocolate.
Roast Chicken.
Big Mac, minus the gherkin.
Banana and sugar sandwich.
Pickled onions.

Tinned Mackerel in mustard sauce.

Pistachio ice cream.

This reminded me of conversations that Andrew and I had about food whilst travelling. After months of rice and curry I developed an extraordinary craving for breaded deep fried garlic mushrooms. The type you get at the Harvester, with dip. I was determined I was going to have some as soon as I got home......needless to say once home the thought of crossing the threshold of a Harvester once again filled me with the proper amount of fear. I wonder how many people will actually be making these "missed foods" part of their celebratory meal upon release?

Wireless Festival

Whilst I was still in hospital and pretty much completely paralysed Andrew bought tickets to see Faithless at the o2 Wireless festival. This was a moment of great faith and optimism on his behalf. At this point we had no idea if I would be able to move, then there was of course the consideration that the last time we went to the Wireless festival I managed to get so completely wasted early doors that I had to be taken home in disgrace.
As the date approached we nearly decided not to go. I still cannot walk far, tire easily and find large crowds daunting. We also were unsure how to get there, how people with disabilities would be treated etc, etc..........

Luckily we binned this defeatist attitude and decided to go - Andrew drove, I took the wheelchair.

We had a great time! The facilities and treatment were 1st class, a credit to the festival and the charity Attitude is everything who work to improve access to live music for disabled people. The disabled entrance was well staffed - by disabled people - everything was well explained and off we headed to the disabled stand. This was right in front of the hospitality stand, to the left of the stage, with a great view heaps of space, friendly attendants and its own roped off, super clean (security guarded) toilets.

Andrew could not believe his luck! They bought him a chair over and everything!!! Even the dance tent had a viewing platform. We visited this early on in the evening when it was so quite mellow so I had little opportunity to throw many wheelchair shapes.

We pottered around for a while before heading back to the viewing stand, the only hairy moment coming when after three pints of Tuborg (bad ten years ago when I 1st tried, no better now) I though I might have a bit of a walk,luckily Andrew persuaded me that the middle of the park with thousands of people on the move was not the place............

Mark Ronson put on a top performance, we revelled in our view, a clear line of vision to the main stage, over the crowds and to much of the rest of the festival. 9 pm came around and Faithless burst onto the stage all guns blazing with Insomnia. The performance was slick and well polished, however any new stuff they played could not hit the highs of the classics. I even managed a bit of an uncordinated dance to God is a DJ. Standing, holding onto the railings for dear life. Andrew looked a little concerned at this point, think he was worried about being thrown of the platform!

We left just before the end, nothing to do with being worried about me and the crowds leaving, Andrew had forgotten a jumper and was freezing! We finished the night with fish & chips on the way home. Perfect, bring on Bestival!!!

Relaxation

Here at the Wolfson each patient has an individual weekly timetable. This week a new session appeared on mine for today - Relaxation Group. I am unsure why I had suddenly been put into this group one week prior to my discharge and not before, but thought that it may teach me some relaxation tools to take away and would therefor be of some benefit. How wrong I was!!

The first problem is that the concept of relaxation in a grotty room in a 1960's hospital with all the related noise is difficult before you start. Still, 7 of us sat there prepared to put that to one side and give it a go. The second major problem for me was that some of my Occupational Therapy sessions have involved me typing in a bid to improve my left hand. I have mainly been copying what ever has been at hand, a paper, leaflet...or on one occasion what I thought was an example of a relaxation session. Turns out it was THE relaxation session. So as the OT started to read in a monotone voice I could see myself sat at a desk struggling to type...not very relaxing. As the session progressed my mind just kept wandering, I just could not focus on "floating away weightless, totally supported, surrounded by a soft sunshine yellow". ( How is that meant to feel???!) I just could not stop thinking about the typing and how she was literally reading word for word.........Soon though I was in uncharted waters, I am unsure if she went off programme or if she was still reading, ( my typing slow!!) But she was now talking about how we should all imagine we were walking barefoot down a soft sandy Caribbean beach with gently lapping waves. All I could think about was that my stick would probably get stuck in the sand and that I can't walk barefoot!! I'm sure that I have a very bad attitude to this type of thing and that I am a right old cynic but I cant help thinking I am very glad I did not have to go every week!

Which way to go?

As Mel only has a week before her departure from the Wolfson, we spent most of yesterday afternoon with the social worker filling out a 62 page application form for DLA (Disability Living Allowance). Having never claimed any form of benefit before it was a new world to us both. The allowance comes in 2 parts, the first being the care component and the second being the mobility component. The social worker was a dab hand at filling out these forms and you could sense that her use of words had been skillfully streamlined over the years to maximise each applicants chance of being awarded some level of benefit. After a good 2 hours we finally completed the booklet and then moved onto an application for a blue badge, a freedom pass and a taxi card. Even though Mel has been brilliant over these last 9 weeks and is constantly moving in the right direction , the afternoon spent with the social worker was still highly emotional and highlighted to us both that we still have some way to go. I think we have reached the point where she needs to leave rehab and start to ease her self gently back into home life and start hanging out with me, her cats and all her friends. To be honest with you I could do with putting my feet up!

This week I have mostly been drinking ..............

With the Yoof of today turning to Magners and your average street drinker favouring White cider never before have our orchards been under so much pressure to deliver. The word in cider space is there are not enough trees and we all know what that means. We have done our bit and planted an apple tree in the back garden , sadly this will yield no Frosty Jacks for a good four years.

In the meantime we will be mostly drinking Kopparberg pear cider from Sweden. A deliciously crisp, medium dry cider perfect for the summer.

Do your bit, help to save the environment and guarantee that white lightening is freely available for generations to come. Plant an apple tree today.

Kopparberg is currently on special at your local Sainos for just under £2 a bottle.

Today I have been out and battled with public transport........brave at the best of times, with my current mobility one would have to argue virtually insane. Surprisingly I managed OK with both the bus and the tram, not great and I would not do it on my own for a bit but I did OK. What was however quite worrying and something that I will no doubt have to get used to, was the magnet I was for all the nutters that circulate the transport system once the rush hour is over. Clearly they took one look at me hobbling along, realised that I could not get away and would therefore be perfect to chat to. In the space of a 30 minute bus ride I encountered the following.

A chap who described his motorbike accident - 30 years ago - to me in graphic detail.

Being shown the train route between East Croydon and Brighton on a large map by a large guy with an even larger shopping trolley.

Two people who asked me straight out what was wrong with me (how rude!!)

And my personal favourite......

A gentlemen in purple lensed sunglasses who offered to get me a "high vis yellow jacket". This apparently would be no problem, he has contact's at the council.

The beauty of the treadmill

I managed to steal a few hours today for myself in between work and visiting Mel and spent it running on a treadmill. Its something I found myself doing 5 times a week until Mel became poorly. Lots of things seemed to fall into place today and thankfully there seemed to be light at the end of a very long tunnel. As the funky beats from " Fools Gold " kicked in on my i pod shuffle I felt for the very first time that we were going to conquer this situation and be better people for it. It was a lovely feeling and then i thought ........ only 15 sleeps to go and that was even better.

With every heartbeat

When you feel a little down and things are stacking up against you , its nice to hear a piece of music that brings a tear to your eye and gives you the encouragement to move forwards. Proving that Sweden has more to offer than Absolut and saunas, Robyn brings you " With every heartbeat" a fantasticly cheesy house tune that sounds like it's straight out of the late 80`s. This will be massive and right now we are loving it! ( The wife also made my day when she discovered Robyn is playing Bestival, must remember to pack my white gloves and glo sticks)

Pointless Pamphlet

Last night I went to our local gym with Andrew and Helen my Physio to set up an exercise programme for my release.It must have looked bizarre. I can hardly walk, yet there I was approaching the cross trainer! Huge swathes of equipment were dismissed as being way above me, others simply had the problem of where to hang ones walking stick whilst using them. ( I can't imagine why the manufacturers had not foreseen this particular issue!)
I now have a programme, although it will take me as long to walk between the equipment as use it!


This morning my calf was injected in 4 places with Botox.It hurt,a lot. I'm sure that smaller needles are used to inject into peoples forehead's, but still, are they mad? The pain was however short lived and now I just have to wait for the toxins to take effect. While waiting I have a lovely leaflet to read. Under the title "Understanding Spasticity and the role of Botulinum Toxin" it has a picture of a lady - in the Lotus position! Who designs these things??? Still if Botox can flatten out your forehead AND get people who can only just walk into the Lotus position it is truly a wonder drug!

The Final Furlong

Its three weeks today that Mel will leave The Wolfson to continue her rehabilitation from the comfort of our own home. The last few days have been really difficult for us both and I`m finding these remaining weeks more challenging than her time at St.Georges. At hospital we were always given a sense of optimism but at rehab that famous saying "The Truth Hurts" really does hit home. Its difficult to get your head around how what was perceived to be a straightforward operation has turned our lives completely upside down. If she had been in a car crash or fallen off a horse then we would probably find it easier to come to terms with, but she wasn`t. It kills me to hear her liken her self to an old lady in the morning and constantly apologising for her lack speed . This really has changed our lives. The challenge for us now is to get her home, get her happy with her surroundings and throw ourselves into a strict gym regime and with our love and the love of our friends get her as strong as an ox.

I tried to persuade the doctors to let her home for the evening so we could watch the freaks entering big brother , but i was politely reminded that this was not part of the rehab process. The compromise was that she was allowed back for her tea. At least she could have something decent. We had a rack of lamb, jersey royals , peas and leeks and for pudding apple crumble with clotted cream. 8.00 pm came and her carriage awaits. Only 21 sleeps to go.

Pikey Nike

I'm back in the hospital today after 4 nights in my own bed ..... Andrew had to work Sunday and Monday but my sister was drafted in to "Melly Sit". This mostly involved drinking tea with me and assisting with cleaning. Andrew has actually done an amazing job of keeping the house pretty spotless, but me being me, I was only happy once I had cleaned it. Hoovering while attempting to balance on a walking stick whilst having only one properly working hand was something of a challenge. I may yet decide to embrace dirty carpets. Especially as I currently have to wear shoes indoors as the splint that prevents me falling over my own toes has to sit in shoes, well to be precise trainers.
Which brings me to the weekends biggest frustration. I'm pretty upset about having to always wear the splint - and the accompanying trainers. At the moment I can only wear the one pair of trainers. A real nasty light blue and silver pair of Nike's that I bought in the sale to wear to the gym, figuring that it did not matter what I looked like in there. Little did I imagine that I would be stuck in them all day every day so had given little thought to how they may look with my jeans. Not good. So, the weekend saw me trying to purchase a slightly "cooler" pair of trainers. Nothing fitted over the splint, or if it did they hurt my feet like hell. Not only am I currently stuck in the pickey nikey there is also to obvious worry of what the hell to do when they wear out!!!
The physio's have today taken pity on me and my trainer plight.(They are girls and understand the shoe thing) Tomorrow we are attacking the cause of the need to wear the splint. They will ultra sound my calf to try to identify the exact muscles that are over active and holding my foot with the toes pointing down. Once these have been isolated the offending muscles will be injected with Botox. This will weaken the calf muscles and will then give the muscles on the front on my ankle a chance to become strong enough to lift my foot. Before the botox wears off.... Well that's the plan, if not at lease I will have a lovely wrinkle free leg!!!

My mate Marmite

When Mel and I Were travelling some 5 years ago it seemed de rigeur to have a hefty jar of the dark stuff in your back pack ready for those taste challenges down under with its rather poor cousin Mr Vegemite. To be really honest with you I have never really liked the black stuff unless it was mixed with crunchy peanut butter on a piece of toast but this inevitably lead to heartburn. I was never quite sure if it was too much butter, the Marmite or the peanut butter. Anyway.... to cut a long story short the mother in law gave us a jar of Guinness Marmite which I hear is Limited to only 300,000 jars. I know that I`m a bit late on this one, but boy its bloody good. If you were one of those people who hated it first time round , then I bet you will love this. Its my new mate anyway and I think an employee from Waitrose is still selling shrinkwrapped packs of 6 on e-bay for about £35.

Home Alone

This is the first weekend that I have come home from The Wolfson to our house rather than mum's - we finally had the bannister's fitted on Thursday. Andrew was working today and behind the back of my physio and pretty much everyone, I have spent the day at home - alone. This is the 1st time I have been on my own in nearly 3 months. It took Andrew some persuading that I would be OK but I was determined to be here alone. I needed to know that I could cope and also wanted some time with just me. 3 months is a long time to have people always around. It was lovely! I had a lie in, in my own bed, watched my own TV and right now the spag bol that I have cooked (all on my own!) is bubbling away on the stove. Yes, I have to use a stick and I limp around - but it is great to be home!

It has also been great to just enjoy things, whilst rehab has helped me enormously, I need time off from talk of "spastic calf muscles" and "wrist range." All new and frightening words.

We have spent the evening in front of the telly with the lap top and after hours of searching found a destination for our holiday next year. We were going to head once again to our spiritual home of Ko Tao but decided that we needed to make a break.... Waiting to hear back re availability, will keep you posted. We need something to look forward to!

Skinny Latte

My worst fears have come to pass - I am now surely a drain on NHS resources. Not only have I been in hospital for approaching three months, had hours of care, physio and occupational therapy, the NHS is now paying for me to drink skinny latte at Starbucks in Wimbledon Village!

Today my Occupational therapy was a trip out into the "community", all part of the rehab process aparently. I chose to go to the supermarket to get something decent to cook ( the cooking bit is tomorrows OT!) and to get something decent to drink. It was 9am, the pubs were shut, I had to make do with Starbucks.

I managed to walk round Tesco's ( it is only a Metro) and then down the high street, into Starbucks and back again. The only hairy moment came when I crossed the road, the little green man had well and truly turned red and the large expensive cars were practically backed up to Putney before I hit the curb on the other side.

Upon our return to the car my OT Nikki said that she thought I had managed very well and perhaps we should do the same trip next week to see if I can improve my speed. I am weighing up if I would feel too guilty about NHS budgets to have cake with my coffee?

Divine with wine

Yep " Divine with Wine " Is the new buzz word from Walkers Sensations and their strategic alliance with the mother of all families Ernst and julio Gallo. What is going on! The biggest adult crisp brand and the biggest wine company, Constellation wines, have joined forces to take over the world. This was tatood into my thick head when I sat on the tube at Wimbledon station this morning to be confronted with a billboard for Gallo, uttering something about how nice their wine was to share with your best friend. Walkers have increased the size of their bags from 150g to 175g under the guise of " Better to Share ". Please dont get brain washed. I nearly did when i bought a bottle of wine from my shop on Sunday night. 175g is alot of crisps to eat on your own when the wife is in rehab....... its a good job we had some Smiths salt and vinegar square crisp grab packs left. Oh my god they are a forgotten snack!

Bionic Woman

Yesterday the physios adopted a new form of attack on my left leg. The limited movement in my ankle and foot is primarily due to the over activity of the muscles in my calf and around my achillies heel. These muscles are in a permenant state of contraction, this basically gives the weak muscles at the front of my ankle little chance of lifting my foot against gravity. (yes, even those few centimeters is against gravity!) So......yesterday saw me sat on gym plinth being wired to a battery pack with sensors attached to my leg. The physio turned a knob, I felt a strange buzz, then as if by magic my foot moved up from the ankle. A very, very strange sensation. This then progressed to another sensor under my heel, so that when my heel left the floor the charge came on and the front of my foot lifts up. Magic. All was good until a change of battery increased the charge and I virtually shot across the room!! If this does not help the next stop is Botox (yep really!)

"1st's"

Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. I did not deal with the day very well. I have not been dealing with "1st's" very well. My first trip home from hospital is the "1st" one since the injury, our wedding anniversary was the "1st" since the injury...and so on. On "1st's" I tend to focus on what in my life is not the same as the last time a particular event occured rather than celebrate a day out from the hospital, a happy marriage, or small improvements.
However a new and very different "1st" occured today, one that has really made me apreciate my recovery. As I walked across the dining hall this evening - very slowly, limping and supported by splint and stick, I stopped to talk to a young lady who was admitted here today. She is currently in a wheelchair and has extremely limited use off all limbs. I asked how she was settling in and if she was ok - her reply? She wished she could walk like me.

Pads Wine of the Month

Marlborough is now widely regarded as the benchmark for Sauvignon Blanc throughout the world. If you can get away from the over hyped and over priced Cloudy Bay and look just down the road you will come across this little beauty. It has fantastic gooseberry and blackcurrant leaf flavours with a crisp acidic backbone that would go supperbly with a big bowl of Havelock green lip mussels. We picked ours up from Sainsburys for £10.http://www.jacksonestate.co.nz

Those miracle workers at the wolfson

Three and a half weeks ago Mel came home from St.Georges for her final weekend before her rehab started at the Wolfson. Our little terrace house was chocca with her borrowed wheelchair , commode and various bits and bobs. Once she was settled on the sofa in front of the tv she was somewhat like a beached whale . It was a bizzare situation to get her from the sofa into her wheelchair to go next door for supper and then back to the sofa, a roundtrip of no more than 20 feet. Today the blue St.Georges people carrier rocked up at 2.30, the doors opened and there appeared Mel . She got out of the car and under the beady eye of her physio walked to our front door with the sole use of a stick. She still needs to build up a lot of strength but it was an amazing vision, her physio Helen seems to have the midas touch. Within 3 and a bit weeks this lovely lady has managed to get Mel back up on her feet and given her the confidence to tackle the most important thing , a staircase. While Mel and Helen start the final ascend of 38, Church Path, we have her occupational therapist, Nikki, running round measuring everything! The height of the sofa, the height of the dining table and its benches, the height of the bed and so on and so on. The upshot of it all is that we need a few grab rails here and there. Much to Mels dismay Merton council will only fit plastic grab rails or at least that's what Nikki thought. Needless to say Mel spent the rest of the afternoon looking through yellow pages for a carpenter who specialised in bespoke grab rails.