Pug Dog Challenge.....

Andrew loves Pug dogs. Had one as a kid, always wanted another. They have never really been my type of dog. I like big, what I perceive to be PROPER dogs. You know, like an Alsatian or something. It's never really been an issue though, we have both always been at work all day so a dog has been out of the question. Now however I work from home we can seriously think about a dog......What with my walking stick and crap balance my dreams of a BIIIG dog are clearly out the window. No way I could hang on to the lead......

We are in toy dog land now.

I wanted a miniature Daschund but have been shouted down - apparently they have spinal problems, and one SCI is enough in this household. So, the pug thing came back into focus. Still not convinced and after much badgering in a moment of madness I told Andrew last night that if he can get a pug puppy by Friday he can have one. I though this would be a tough call..Happy I went to bed...This morning I wake to the news he has located a pedigree litter through the power of the Internet - In Surrey - and had asked for photo's. ..... They must have all gone I think. He checks email, she's replied, no problem ,3 bitches , two dogs, photo's will follow.

Thing is I just know the minute those cute puppies photo's come I am going to want one.......

What am I to do?

Funky Monkey

Early start ...... early finish..........................

Doh !

I took our tenant out for lunch and got absolutely slaughtered!

Heroes

Oh, we have been quiet! Its just it just takes me so long to do anything these days. Really, it does. I am driving Andrew mad beacuse I am so slow. This really worrys me, I used to get mad, and I mean really mad, with Andrew because I always had to wait for him. How slow must I be?!!

So, basically with trying to work, do my exercises, get to physio, well to be fair just get out of bed and down the stairs in the morning I have NO time.........

Anyway, I'm very excited today. The week before I went into Hospital I watched the 1st episode of Heroes on Sci-Fi channel. I LOVED it and set Sky+ to record on series link for me - thinking I would be back in a few days to watch it..........Four months and a whole series later Andrew had no room on Sky+ for his beloved house programs. With him being such a great hubbie and bringing M&S food to my hospital room I tried not to be pissed off when he said he had deleted Heroes. ....................Imagine my joy when I find its coming to BBC2!

First episode tonight............Happy day's.

Can somebody make it stop please?

It's raining again. Not sure I can take it any more. Where is the off switch please?

When I was first laying in hospital completely unable to move I was calmer than you might have expected. Yes, I got upset when I needed help and I was frustrated. But, at that point I believed I would get better. Nobody told me I wouldn't. As the doubt crept in so did the fear. The first question I asked the physio, one I have heard others ask since, and one I expect they hear all the time was "will I walk again"? Well I can walk, just not well and not unaided. I hadn't really thought it through when I asked the question. Don't get me wrong, I am HUGELY grateful I can walk its just that I did not realise that it is possible to walk with so much still wrong and such limited function. I think that I assumed that if I would eventually be able to walk I would be, well, better. Maybe a small limp or something. I cannot walk without a stick, then I need a foot splint or an electric stimulator. I cant lift my left foot at the ankle properly. These basically stop me falling over my own foot. Then there are the problems I have with my core stability, my calf muscles, glute's, balance......etc...etc. If you lead me to the middle of a field and took away my splint and my stick and left me barefoot I would literally be rooted to the spot. Far from the "walking" I had a vision of in my head.

Yesterday I got very frustrated because my mum had to put a bench together for me - she bought it for me so I can sit just outside the backdoor with a cuppa. I cant help it. Lists of things that I will never be able to do again form in my head. Some things I was never going to do in the 1st place, climb Everest, skydive, run a marathon, but then I realised I will never run again. Not even a metre, not at all, not ever. Then I realise I will eventually forget what it feels like to run. I don't know if this will make it easier or worse. If I cant remember what it feels like, can I miss it?

The bench looks nice.

Pig Pig Scratchings........

Our favourite Colombian export.

Normality.

We tried to spend a normal Saturday doing what normal people would do and surprise surprise we had a really good normal time. We took Kevin to the vets for his annual check up and booster, swiftly followed by an hour in the gym for me and an hour in the pool for Mel. After a spot of lunch we could have taken the easy option and spent the rest of the day doing housework etc. but instead we caught the tram to our local National Trust park Morden Hall for some tea and cake. This saw Mel breaking all her previous bests/records for walking as we slowly ambled to the tea shop. It was a fantastic feeling to see her cover this kind of distance as it highlighted to us both that her wheelchair would eventually become a slice of history from this rather strange time in our lives. After recharging our batteries on Fentiman's ginger beer , cups of tea, a Solero and a Calypso we returned home.

We missed the chance of catching the tram and slowly worked our way home.

Today Mel covered well over a mile all under her own steam and boy did that make me a proud man. She calls it Bestival training, every spare moment will be spent pounding the dodgy streets of Mitcham just so she can reach the Wi`s tea tent on the 7th September.

My Friend Google.....

Google is my friend. Since my injury, despite being in an acute Neuro surgery ward and then a Neurorehabilitation centre I have not met one other person with a Spinal Cord Injury. I have met other young people coping with disabilities, but these were caused either by MS or in the case of the two guys I met - drugs, one took an unintentional overdose of pretty much everything he could lay his hands on in Phonm Phen, the other shot in the head whilst dealing them in South London. In fact I have only ever met one person in my life who had a Spinal cord injury, altough I did not realise at the time the nature of his disability. My mums next door neighbour was paralysed from the waist down during a life saving operation to remove a cancerous tumour from his spine. In another bizarre twist the surgeon who performed this surgery - Mr. Marsh - also performed the operation to remove the growth from my brain the year before. The lack of contact with other people with similar injuries and the frankly appalling lack of information from the NHS has led me to the Internet. ( The NHS have just today managed to send me a formal diagnosis - via the post!?? Incomplete Spinal cord injury - c6/7 - Asia D...) I'm pretty mad about this. What information I have found out through the NHS has been from Physio's and not the people charged with my recovery - the Neuro consultants. I know that doctors are wary of people self diagnosing through the Internet and I know many Doctors go out of there way to explain but if I have not goggled I would know very little about what has happened to me. I have a permanent, serious, life changing injury - is it that they just dont have the balls to tell me??? Almost all I know about Spasticity, clonus, nerve damage, incomplete or complete spinal injuries I have learnt from the Internet. Many of the articles I have read have filled me with fear, however once I have processed all the information I would rather be informed than in the dark wondering why I cant walk properly. I am now waiting for appointments with both my neuro surgeon and my neuro rehab consultant. I have plenty of questions for both.

Circus Cat

Whilst I was in hospital Andrew was a bit bored. He got a new hobby. Training our two old cats to do new tricks. Slowly I am getting to see all the clever things he has taught them. Both cats can now stand on their back legs to ask for food. Kev jumps up on his back legs to reach your hand when you click your fingers.........However this morning I got to see the jewel in the crown. Andrew and I don't usually get up at the same time but we have a new routine this week. This meant we were both fighting over the bathroom sink. Except we couldn't get near it. Our big black cat was sat on the edge of it, staring at Andrew and meowing. I was about to push him off when Andrew told me that actually Ben was thirsty and could I please turn on the cold tap for him. Sorry? The cat is talking to me and is thirsty?! It was then explained that this was his and Ben's "morning routine". Sure enough Andrew turned on the cold tap, Ben cocks his head and starts drinking deep from the cold tap!!! I'm impressed, for a while. Until I realise that I have been cleaning cat prints off the sink every day since I have been home...............

I would like to thank Heidi from Woodvale Diaries for this lovely pink badge. I'm going to nominate Silvana for the rocking girl blogger award cos she always brings me cakes - really good ones!

We have been busy saving the world from our living room. Watching "Live Earth". Lights on, telly on, wine chilling in the fridge, air freight from Colombia, takeaway whizzing round on a moped..........hey!!!!..its all about awareness isn't it?
Still great bands!

Beastie Boys - 7/10 ( bonus point for the suits).

Pussy cat dolls - 8/10 ( Andrew gave them 5 simply on outfits).

We think Souza (???) rocking Brazil to Eurotrash - 9/10.

Terence Stamp - 2/10. (eerr....? - nice he thought the spot light on him to be essential!).

Foo Fighters - 10/10.

Shakira - 2/10.

Madonna? Since when could she play a guitar? 7/10, although 10/10 for Gogo Bordello.

Don't forget to turn the lights out kids.......

Physio.....

Now that I am home the emphasis has to be on both getting stronger and maximizing the movement that I have got. From having Physio every day its now once a week at outpatients, although bizarrely with a different set of physio's from those who I have worked with since my injury. This is not really enough. I still have a lot of problems to try and solve. My movement and strength on my left side is very weak and my pro-preception and balance very bad on my right. (which I had always presumed to be my good side...!This is because the nerves cross over high in the spinal cord so the "feedback" from where my limbs are etc is lost on the opposite side to the damage to the cord. I still cannot feel heat or pain on my right side for example...) The optimum recovery period for function after a spinal cord injury is 3 -9 months after injury, so with this in mind we hired a private Neurological Physioptherpist. A walking specialist that I have worked with through the NHS for the last 10 weeks. My god, I must have been more of a drain on the tax payer than I ever imagined! Can they be paid this much by the NHS? Physios are expensive privately, but Neuro physio's? !! Something else.......Want a comfortable old age? Get your kids in training now!

Super star tradesman ?

It was my first day off in ages today. The day was totally ruined by an 11- 1 window time turning into a 4-6 window time. We have a very cute little studio flat in a grade 11 listed building in the middle of a council estate , very close to a couple of fatal stabbings that has been rented out since January. The oven had apparently never been working and seeing as the tenant was leaving at the end of August she fancied having a dinner party. I could not understand why she needed it working when she had 4 hobs and a grill in fine order and that for the last 6 months it had never been a problem, still I guess she paid the mortgage. I spent a really frustrating 8 hours in that flat waiting for someone to come and fix it when eventually the buzzer went. I was all set to let rip when I oppened the door and a really chirpy, slightly portly young man appeared. 10 minutes in and £35 lighter we had got to the bottom of the problem ...... a new element was required. He would order it , I would pay for it and he would come back and fit it for free! He was a very nice man.

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Youve got mail.....

I have done my first days work for exactly 4 months today! Well, kind of. Logged on from the living room and opened my Inbox. Put the kettle on, looked at the screen, made the tea, fed the cats, looked at the screen.......put the kettle on.... my god, they just kept on coming in. I know this was four months worth of emails and a good proportion of the last few weeks was probably spam.... but bloody hell!!!! I had forgotten that morning fear of opening outlook and watching the email roll in. The number of new unread mails rudely highlighted to you, ruining your day before you have started, yesterdays tally of read ( but let's face it unanswered) mail's still fresh on your mind.

Once the server stopped throwing the mail at me I had a dilemma. Hope my colleagues had dealt with urgent matters? Go through line by line?? Send a bulk email to all asking them to contact me if their enquiry had not been dealt with? I made another cup of tea. Then I hit on the brilliant idea of a new folder called "sick". I simply highlighted my Inbox in its entirety and moved it across. Wonderful, a clear Inbox. All those nights I worked late "clearing my Inbox".... what a waste of time.

Inbox dealt with, I put the kettle on and decided to knock off for the day.