The Final Furlong

Its three weeks today that Mel will leave The Wolfson to continue her rehabilitation from the comfort of our own home. The last few days have been really difficult for us both and I`m finding these remaining weeks more challenging than her time at St.Georges. At hospital we were always given a sense of optimism but at rehab that famous saying "The Truth Hurts" really does hit home. Its difficult to get your head around how what was perceived to be a straightforward operation has turned our lives completely upside down. If she had been in a car crash or fallen off a horse then we would probably find it easier to come to terms with, but she wasn`t. It kills me to hear her liken her self to an old lady in the morning and constantly apologising for her lack speed . This really has changed our lives. The challenge for us now is to get her home, get her happy with her surroundings and throw ourselves into a strict gym regime and with our love and the love of our friends get her as strong as an ox.

I tried to persuade the doctors to let her home for the evening so we could watch the freaks entering big brother , but i was politely reminded that this was not part of the rehab process. The compromise was that she was allowed back for her tea. At least she could have something decent. We had a rack of lamb, jersey royals , peas and leeks and for pudding apple crumble with clotted cream. 8.00 pm came and her carriage awaits. Only 21 sleeps to go.

Pikey Nike

I'm back in the hospital today after 4 nights in my own bed ..... Andrew had to work Sunday and Monday but my sister was drafted in to "Melly Sit". This mostly involved drinking tea with me and assisting with cleaning. Andrew has actually done an amazing job of keeping the house pretty spotless, but me being me, I was only happy once I had cleaned it. Hoovering while attempting to balance on a walking stick whilst having only one properly working hand was something of a challenge. I may yet decide to embrace dirty carpets. Especially as I currently have to wear shoes indoors as the splint that prevents me falling over my own toes has to sit in shoes, well to be precise trainers.
Which brings me to the weekends biggest frustration. I'm pretty upset about having to always wear the splint - and the accompanying trainers. At the moment I can only wear the one pair of trainers. A real nasty light blue and silver pair of Nike's that I bought in the sale to wear to the gym, figuring that it did not matter what I looked like in there. Little did I imagine that I would be stuck in them all day every day so had given little thought to how they may look with my jeans. Not good. So, the weekend saw me trying to purchase a slightly "cooler" pair of trainers. Nothing fitted over the splint, or if it did they hurt my feet like hell. Not only am I currently stuck in the pickey nikey there is also to obvious worry of what the hell to do when they wear out!!!
The physio's have today taken pity on me and my trainer plight.(They are girls and understand the shoe thing) Tomorrow we are attacking the cause of the need to wear the splint. They will ultra sound my calf to try to identify the exact muscles that are over active and holding my foot with the toes pointing down. Once these have been isolated the offending muscles will be injected with Botox. This will weaken the calf muscles and will then give the muscles on the front on my ankle a chance to become strong enough to lift my foot. Before the botox wears off.... Well that's the plan, if not at lease I will have a lovely wrinkle free leg!!!

My mate Marmite

When Mel and I Were travelling some 5 years ago it seemed de rigeur to have a hefty jar of the dark stuff in your back pack ready for those taste challenges down under with its rather poor cousin Mr Vegemite. To be really honest with you I have never really liked the black stuff unless it was mixed with crunchy peanut butter on a piece of toast but this inevitably lead to heartburn. I was never quite sure if it was too much butter, the Marmite or the peanut butter. Anyway.... to cut a long story short the mother in law gave us a jar of Guinness Marmite which I hear is Limited to only 300,000 jars. I know that I`m a bit late on this one, but boy its bloody good. If you were one of those people who hated it first time round , then I bet you will love this. Its my new mate anyway and I think an employee from Waitrose is still selling shrinkwrapped packs of 6 on e-bay for about £35.

Home Alone

This is the first weekend that I have come home from The Wolfson to our house rather than mum's - we finally had the bannister's fitted on Thursday. Andrew was working today and behind the back of my physio and pretty much everyone, I have spent the day at home - alone. This is the 1st time I have been on my own in nearly 3 months. It took Andrew some persuading that I would be OK but I was determined to be here alone. I needed to know that I could cope and also wanted some time with just me. 3 months is a long time to have people always around. It was lovely! I had a lie in, in my own bed, watched my own TV and right now the spag bol that I have cooked (all on my own!) is bubbling away on the stove. Yes, I have to use a stick and I limp around - but it is great to be home!

It has also been great to just enjoy things, whilst rehab has helped me enormously, I need time off from talk of "spastic calf muscles" and "wrist range." All new and frightening words.

We have spent the evening in front of the telly with the lap top and after hours of searching found a destination for our holiday next year. We were going to head once again to our spiritual home of Ko Tao but decided that we needed to make a break.... Waiting to hear back re availability, will keep you posted. We need something to look forward to!

Skinny Latte

My worst fears have come to pass - I am now surely a drain on NHS resources. Not only have I been in hospital for approaching three months, had hours of care, physio and occupational therapy, the NHS is now paying for me to drink skinny latte at Starbucks in Wimbledon Village!

Today my Occupational therapy was a trip out into the "community", all part of the rehab process aparently. I chose to go to the supermarket to get something decent to cook ( the cooking bit is tomorrows OT!) and to get something decent to drink. It was 9am, the pubs were shut, I had to make do with Starbucks.

I managed to walk round Tesco's ( it is only a Metro) and then down the high street, into Starbucks and back again. The only hairy moment came when I crossed the road, the little green man had well and truly turned red and the large expensive cars were practically backed up to Putney before I hit the curb on the other side.

Upon our return to the car my OT Nikki said that she thought I had managed very well and perhaps we should do the same trip next week to see if I can improve my speed. I am weighing up if I would feel too guilty about NHS budgets to have cake with my coffee?

Divine with wine

Yep " Divine with Wine " Is the new buzz word from Walkers Sensations and their strategic alliance with the mother of all families Ernst and julio Gallo. What is going on! The biggest adult crisp brand and the biggest wine company, Constellation wines, have joined forces to take over the world. This was tatood into my thick head when I sat on the tube at Wimbledon station this morning to be confronted with a billboard for Gallo, uttering something about how nice their wine was to share with your best friend. Walkers have increased the size of their bags from 150g to 175g under the guise of " Better to Share ". Please dont get brain washed. I nearly did when i bought a bottle of wine from my shop on Sunday night. 175g is alot of crisps to eat on your own when the wife is in rehab....... its a good job we had some Smiths salt and vinegar square crisp grab packs left. Oh my god they are a forgotten snack!

Bionic Woman

Yesterday the physios adopted a new form of attack on my left leg. The limited movement in my ankle and foot is primarily due to the over activity of the muscles in my calf and around my achillies heel. These muscles are in a permenant state of contraction, this basically gives the weak muscles at the front of my ankle little chance of lifting my foot against gravity. (yes, even those few centimeters is against gravity!) So......yesterday saw me sat on gym plinth being wired to a battery pack with sensors attached to my leg. The physio turned a knob, I felt a strange buzz, then as if by magic my foot moved up from the ankle. A very, very strange sensation. This then progressed to another sensor under my heel, so that when my heel left the floor the charge came on and the front of my foot lifts up. Magic. All was good until a change of battery increased the charge and I virtually shot across the room!! If this does not help the next stop is Botox (yep really!)

"1st's"

Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. I did not deal with the day very well. I have not been dealing with "1st's" very well. My first trip home from hospital is the "1st" one since the injury, our wedding anniversary was the "1st" since the injury...and so on. On "1st's" I tend to focus on what in my life is not the same as the last time a particular event occured rather than celebrate a day out from the hospital, a happy marriage, or small improvements.
However a new and very different "1st" occured today, one that has really made me apreciate my recovery. As I walked across the dining hall this evening - very slowly, limping and supported by splint and stick, I stopped to talk to a young lady who was admitted here today. She is currently in a wheelchair and has extremely limited use off all limbs. I asked how she was settling in and if she was ok - her reply? She wished she could walk like me.

Pads Wine of the Month

Marlborough is now widely regarded as the benchmark for Sauvignon Blanc throughout the world. If you can get away from the over hyped and over priced Cloudy Bay and look just down the road you will come across this little beauty. It has fantastic gooseberry and blackcurrant leaf flavours with a crisp acidic backbone that would go supperbly with a big bowl of Havelock green lip mussels. We picked ours up from Sainsburys for £10.http://www.jacksonestate.co.nz

Those miracle workers at the wolfson

Three and a half weeks ago Mel came home from St.Georges for her final weekend before her rehab started at the Wolfson. Our little terrace house was chocca with her borrowed wheelchair , commode and various bits and bobs. Once she was settled on the sofa in front of the tv she was somewhat like a beached whale . It was a bizzare situation to get her from the sofa into her wheelchair to go next door for supper and then back to the sofa, a roundtrip of no more than 20 feet. Today the blue St.Georges people carrier rocked up at 2.30, the doors opened and there appeared Mel . She got out of the car and under the beady eye of her physio walked to our front door with the sole use of a stick. She still needs to build up a lot of strength but it was an amazing vision, her physio Helen seems to have the midas touch. Within 3 and a bit weeks this lovely lady has managed to get Mel back up on her feet and given her the confidence to tackle the most important thing , a staircase. While Mel and Helen start the final ascend of 38, Church Path, we have her occupational therapist, Nikki, running round measuring everything! The height of the sofa, the height of the dining table and its benches, the height of the bed and so on and so on. The upshot of it all is that we need a few grab rails here and there. Much to Mels dismay Merton council will only fit plastic grab rails or at least that's what Nikki thought. Needless to say Mel spent the rest of the afternoon looking through yellow pages for a carpenter who specialised in bespoke grab rails.

Magnetic cat flaps

While my gorgeous wife has had weekend leave , I have unfortunately had to work to ensure my flock in Southfields have had sufficient opportunity to fill their boots with the offerings of my booze shop. In between shifts I have been belting down the A3 to see Mel and returning via home to make sure our lovely two cats,Ben and Kevin ,have had plenty of tucker to graze on in our absence. Sometime ago we invested £65 in a staywell infra red cat flap. The idea being that Ben and Kevin wore a little tag on their collar that allowed them to come and go as they pleased . Nice we both thought. Little did we think that Mr Kevin would spend all day sitting in front of the cat flap letting it go on and off and inviting all his chums in for a free feed! As I was about to leave home I heard a nudge on the cat flap and then it all fell into place, Kevin ran to see what the noise was , cat flap goes click and in stroll Top Cat, Benny the Ball, Choo Choo, The Brain and Spook.

Weekend pass

Well it has been wonderful! I have slept in a proper bed and have eaten BBq lamb and steak.I have even had wine. Funnily enough a glass seems to assist with getting up the stairs, makes me worry about them less.I have not been out of my mum's house - apart from going into the garden - since my arrival on Friday. The main reason for this is that I can get around the house without the wheelchair, it has been lovely not to see it and have the feeling of more independence. I am now however stiff as a board, I have walked more this weekend than in the last 8 weeks put together. Getting quite nifty on the zimmer!
Today is Andrew's birthday,it will not be his most memorrable. He has had to work and this evening we will go for a meal.Our choice of eating venue is no longer governed by where we want to eat and what style of food we are in the mood for, we now choose places by their disabled access and facilities.You would have hoped that in 2007 this would be a huge choice - this is sadly not the case. Disabled access and disabled facilities are two different things. What's the point of going somewhere for a drink and a meal that has a ramp for a wheelchair to get into the building but then a flight of stairs to the toilet.We will be gracing one of the local pizza chains. Oh the glamour!!

Stairway to heaven

It has been a good couple of days. Tuesday saw me on a home visit with an OT and a physio, sadly not to ours but my mum's. She has what is fast becoming the holy grail - a downstairs loo! They are very thorough here and prior to letting me leave here at the weekends they wanted to visit with me. I was on form and managed to bound up the step into the house (zimmer assisted) and whizz round the ground floor. Every chair in the house was measured for height and I then duly sat down and stood up from them all. Mum had set up a bed for me in her study, however one look at what can really only be described as a camp bed and I announced that I would like to try the stairs. I did set the scene in case of failure by saying that it would be good for the physio to see where we needed to concentrate our sessions.With a picture of the bed and a vision of the bad nights sleep it would surely provide firmly fixed in my mind I approached the stairs. It took a stick in one hand, the bannister and about 5 minutes but I got up them! Obviously that was the easy bit, getting down is MUCH harder. My left leg is so weak but going down stairs it really has to work. The stairs seem to be so much steeper when you feel you are simply dangling a limb over the edge of each step, still I made it down and have been deemed "safe with assistance". This basically means some poor bugger has to stand in front of me and if I fall they are coming wih me! I am so excited, this weekend will be the first time I have slept in a proper bed, upstairs and everything for over 2 months.
Still lest I get over excited by this its been back to physio and looking at my still relatively immobile ankle. The splint I have does a good job at holding the foot up so I can walk but I still need to work on regaining the movement. It is so very hard to isolate a muscle and to work it when you can bearly feel it. Movement was also so instinctive before that it is new and unnatural to think about tiny flexes.I spent most of an hour tensing my whole body and moving all my other limbs in the effort to lift my toes in order to flex my ankle. Didn't get anywhere! I try too hard and by tensing everything cannot get the tiny movements that I need.
Muscles are so weak the movement will not be like I remember, in fact at the moment it may be bearly there. It is all to easy to assume that if I try really hard and strain away that my ankle will suddenly spring into perfect full action. Later in the evening sat on my own I finally managed to get the small movement and flexed my ankle up, lifting my foot just the tiniest amount from the floor. Its bearly there but at least its there at all.
On a positive, note all this physio and activity is burning calories like never before. I can currently eat as much chocolate as I like. M & S chocolate coated fudge sticks - yum!

Bestival 2007

Its all fallen in to place today! We have managed to secure the hire of a 6 berth beauty for our jaunt on the isle of wight with Bert and Heidi this September. Mel is so excited as it will be her first jolly for some 9 months! She was a little worried today that she would not be able to get busy in the big top or go bonkers in the bollywood bar , but a little e-mail to mr rod d bank would hopefully make that dream come true. If all else fails then I will push her up the hill to the womens institute tea tent and she can have a lovelly cream tea.